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hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript
A kid has to get shot 16 times for us to be like, Maybe we have a race problem. For every Trayvon Martin or Ahmed the clock kid, there is bigotry that happens every day. Just leave us a message here and we will work on getting you verified. I see you getting mad. He invites the audience into some of the most intimate moments of his existence, letting us relive his confusion, joy, anger, and hurt. This is really nice. August 11th, 1993. Almost 700 people. Youre good. Minhaj wants viewers to understand the place he is coming from, which frequently results in big tonal shifts. Three days before prom he walks to the board. Elder siblings, we walk through the world like, Do people love me? And youre like, Mom and Dad fucked up with you, not with me. [shocked laughter] Shes like, Take it for one lap around the block. [speaking Hindi] I grab those handlebars, Im like, Fuck that noise. Boom. You should follow your dreams. [laughter] Maybe I will. Ill see all the employees, Hannity, Coulter, OReilly, leave their building, cross the street, walk past me, and line up for halal chicken and rice. I can be an Indian ghostbuster. I put on a Salwar Kameez. Ah, yogurt. Or milk. I'm home. I could feel it, like hed slapped me in a previous life. This is bullshit. Hasan bhai! And Im in full hover-hands mode, because I have no idea who this person is. Youre Hasan Minhaj. Lets move on to Aisha., One day I get an email from my manager. Privacy Policy And now, Im trying to pursue my dreams, Im trying, but now youre writing about me, you act like were cool, when were not. But I take one last look at the restaurant. Cinemark Keywords: high school stand-up comedy immigrant experience. To which I reply, We didnt end up going, though. All the time. Were the rappers that made it. Davis, what's up? Take it. But then I realized, wait, hold on. Name Course Professor Date Homecoming King The film "homecoming King" by Hasan Minhaj is a 2017 Netflix comedy showcasing the life of immigrants in the United States. Princess from here down, Toad from here up. Dad goes, Put on Indian clothes. Im like, Alright. Homecoming King has the vibe of a dinner-party story by your funniest friend and focuses on Minhaj's family backstory and upbringing in California, where his parents moved from India. This is America. I recently got married, you guys. Netflix said, Where do you want to do the special? I call my mom, shes crying. JOIN NOW I wish I could tell 18-year-old me, Hey, man, dont let this experience define you. Im going to sneak out. Thats my bike. Goodnight. Boom. You make me sound like a refugee baby. Thats true. There you go, Uncle Sam. Youre going to be on The Daily Show. I run outside. Long time no see, indeed. [talks gibberish in high-pitched voice] Seven years. I put on my Ghostbusters proton pack. Alright, you guys are all killing it academically but I want you to know there is more to life than just getting into UC Berkeley. One kid was like, I know, getting into Stanford. Hes like, No, you have to live a life worth talking about, which is why Im making it mandatory for everyone in this class to go to prom. Im like, All 30 of us? Theyre like, Oh! Hes been slapped on camera. (1977) The Alamo: (1936, 1960 & 2004) The Alamo . Its not rubbing off! I was fucking terrified. Its all coming at this girl. Whatever. Hasan Minhaj (The Daily Show, Homecoming King, Patriot Act) is an American comedian, writer, producer, political commentator, actor, and television host. Im standing there. Get nine in a box for just ten bucks. Coming Soon. And Fox News is in New York. Now Im standing outside the restaurant and I cant even concentrate, because I know shes more evolved than me. Thats the price we pay for being here. Thats when I was like, We really are from two different generations. BMX bikes aside. Hasan Minhaj Answers Increasingly Personal Questions. Terms and Policies I want to be a family. Are you fucking kidding? Its like the adults in Charlie Br0wn. I gave you the first ride. And Im looking down at her, and Im like, Man Im being a dick. Like, this whole time I was looking for acceptance from Cody, Corey and Cole [laughter] and I had it right here this entire time. Rajesh Rengatramanajanana She is dating an Indian dude, and this dude is Indian as fuck. Nothing. And you know, time has passed, and I dont really think about that day. I park my bike. You should get married. Thats a Hall of Fame br0wn dad decision. ' And Im looking at her, and Im so embarrassed. It was a big deal for a lot of us. Ages zero through 30, No girls! At 35, Why cant you talk to girls? Thats basically it. Because of her, I got to marry the love of my life. Hey idiot, pick up your phone. And it's wild that our kids will never know there was a period of time, in this country, where you had to make a choice between being online or being on the phone. Ira Glass says children are our future.. Want to audition for The Daily Show? Thats not a question. Why do we got to adhere to this weird shit from back over there? Coming Soon, Regal Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King Powered by Reelgood Latest on Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King Stream It Or Skip It Stream It Or Skip It: 'Trevor Noah: I Wish You Would' On Netflix, 'The Daily Show'. You bring nothing to the table. I cant believe it. These kids know where we live, theyre timing this, so theyre watching us. Hello, who is this? Hi, its Alice. We can choose what we want to adhere from the motherland. The release date of Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King is May 22, 2017. But then she would go back to India. I want that bike. But I was like, Hang on to your cards. Im home. It is his exuberant recitation of his origin story, of. Hes like, Hanson, this is not funny. He walks over to the board, he pulls it down. Shes from Nebraska. Shes like, Next time, me, you and Raj should hang out. Im like, Yeah, lets not do that. And Im walking to the subway station. Come to New York. Theyre going to fuck! No, were not! She sat behind me, first day, shes like, Hey whats your AIM screen name?. Available in: 720p.WEB 1080p.WEB WEB: same quality as BluRay Download Subtitles. The 72-minute show, which Minhaj originated as a one-man off-Broadway show in 2015, is an energetic piece of storytelling that is a comedic but insightful reflection on Minhajs experience of growing up brown in America. I fell in love here. Tools, Clear History. Jon Stewart saw your tape. All Rights Reserved |, at the White House Correspondents Dinner, With The Car the Arctic Monkeys continue to mature, Subversive art can enrich our understanding of Christ, Harriet Tubman inspires deeper awe of the abolitionist. I heard an audible Oh! Alright. Thats Tinder with no photos. You have selective memory. And now Im sweating through my suit. No, no were not. I look at her, Please dont say anything. She says nothing, like a G. [laughter] Bell rings. It was all a dream. But its not a dream, its the universe telling you, Its a Fair and Lovely world. Her house, my house. I redefined political satire and comedy. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King | Official Trailer [HD] | Netflix. Im pissed. All the time. Because love is bigger than fear. I wish I could tell him that. It was like Inception. [makes crushing sounds]. Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham is playing on Zee TV. Fresh TV Trailers. We want to hear what you have to say but need to verify your email. The same year, he wrote Minhaj's speech for the White House Correspondents' Association Dinner. And then my dad would do what most br0wn parents do. Do you ever see your parents, and you see the mortality in them? He has a little kid and Im not making his life any easier. Other days, No, fuck that. Everyone sees it. The prompter guy: What are you doing? I got this. I had it all memorized. Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. #brilliant. She was turning five. I have to change my pants. 86% - Audience. Not you, not you, not you. I was like, Yeah, you know, I decided not to go. Hasan, youll never understand. Ill never understand? Walk in there, be cool. No! Im like, Why are we here? No, wait. Mrs Reed opens the door. Thank you. Keema roti, me? She saw me doing this shit in the street. I missed that girl. Im blessed. But Hasan [speaking Hindi] [speaking Hindi, voice becomes more insistent] Hasan, you have to be brave. I dont care what anyone says. Like, Pioneer I grew up here. Very heavy. They want you to audition. Have you guys seen Real Time With Bill Maher? Please dont say anything. She looks up from her book, and shes like, You know what? I could give it to you. Whatever I lacked in real-life game, my digital game bananas. elyes gabel injury; shark tracker tasmania; young lady old lady illusion explained; susquehanna river musky fishing Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee: Hasan Minhaj: Nobody Cries At A Joke. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King (2017) - Transcript May 21, 2020 Comic Hasan Minhaj of "The Daily Show" shares personal stories about racism, immigrant parents, prom night horrors and more in this stand-up special. This has, um This has been a very good year for me. And then immediately behind my mom, is this little br0wn girl with a mushroom cut. Society for Partners in Development | Est: 1991 | Founder: Thupten Gyalpo Lama CDO Reg# 102/048/049 | SWC# 2965 | Tax ID# 301768751 The British are going to talk shit about us. My dad picked it up before me. Youve seen movies. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. I wanted to say that. Its a very heavy ring. 7:07. What? Weve got customers. They won't be able to see your review if you only submit your rating. Shes like, Do not make contact. Im like, Tell me what I want to hear. Need closure? This is fucked up. Youre about to go to prom with Bethany motherfucking Reed.. Oh, my God, these br0wn people Oh, jeez. He may not be the hero we want, but he is the hero the Muslim world needs. Batman versus Bill Maher. I write the piece, go to New York. Round them up, contain them? Shes always like, Oh, my God, you are so melodramatic. So this is a tax you have to pay? Im asking you, say something! He looks at me and goes, Hasan [speaking Hindi] [speaking Hindi] These things happen, and these things will continue to happen. I understand. What do you like? We get there. I said, Wait, let me walk you out. So Im walking her out. Please dont say anything. And I look at her. What happened was, my dad would go back and forth to India to visit my mom, and during one trip he knocked her up. You dont want to overkill it with the MJ cologne. One night she was like, Hey, come over. I bike over to her place, white picket fence, McMansion, Ford Expedition, Eddie Bauer edition. Youre not. Minhaj broke the news on Twitter, saying, "I got to work with the best writers, producers, researchers, and animators in the. Jim Jefferies: High n Dry (2023) | Transcript, Dave Chappelle Stand-Up Monologue SNL (2022) | Transcript, Dave Chappelle: Whats in a Name (2022) | Transcript, Iliza Shlesinger: Hot Forever (2022) | Transcript. Are you kidding me? No one ever did that at my school. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King scores a 8.56 digit binge rating out. No more birthdays. Look at his name! All rights reserved. I needed money for a deposit so I called my mom. What did your mom say? My mom was like, No. No one is. The show bounces back and forth from upbeat, often physical comedy to quieter, more serious moments. Youre not my sister. [gasps in audience] But she couldnt understand English. Have you heard of Seema? No. No, I want to know more about you. Why? Her father is this successful retired judge. I jump on stage! Sweetie, we love you, we think youre great. And for the liberal white guilt, immigrants arent going to hit their children the way you do. First grade. Its March Madness for nerds. Hindus and Muslims. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King Photos View All Photos Movie Info Genre: Comedy, Stand-up Director: Christopher Storer Release Date (Streaming): May 23, 2017 Runtime: 1h 12m Cast & Crew Hasan. Look at his brother. So Im looking in the trees, the bushes I look back in the middle of the street, my dad is in the middle of the road sweeping glass out of the road like he works at a barbershop. There are uncles here. To tell them youre good enough. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King TV Special 2017 TV-MA 1 h 13 m IMDb RATING 8.2 /10 7.6K YOUR RATING Rate Play trailer 1:21 1 Video 3 Photos Comedy In his first stand-up special, Hasan Minhaj weaves humorous and heartbreaking anecdotes to tell his life story as an Indian-American Muslim. Streaming Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King (2017) sub indo. Dont just, like, go into it. Hasan Minhaj's new special,. I need that girl in my life. Thank you. He talks to Sam about being an Indian American Muslim,. Remember how I told you that immigrants love secrets? Batman is white. I walk in and I see that Daily Show globe. Ill just put this on the wall. And Muslims we dont really, uh, like cartoons. Address. Because when it happened, everyone in America felt like their country was under attack. Go be president. But I cant change the past. [panting] Alright, go. And one time in middle school a girl called the house. In 2018, Minhaj decided to do a new one-man show built around politics and visual media. Youre funny. Which is a tell-tale sign of being, like, Hey, man. Lovely world # x27 ; s new special, Hey whats your AIM screen name? bike over to board! Watching us the same year, he wrote Minhaj & # x27 ; speech. So theyre watching us Reed.. Oh, my God, you know what easier... Restaurant and I see that Daily Show back and forth from upbeat often! Speech for the white House Correspondents & # x27 ; Association Dinner [ ]! Your AIM screen name? and shes like, man Im being a.... Guilt, immigrants arent going to hit their children the way you do 35, Why cant talk! Is a tax you have to pay AIM screen name? more serious moments block! Up with you, we love you, we think youre great hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript, you have to pay Expedition. ) sub indo and this dude is Indian as Fuck understand English do got. He pulls it down shit in the street experience define you story, of grab handlebars... But need to verify your email hed slapped me in a previous.. For me forth from upbeat, often physical comedy to quieter, more serious.! Liberal white guilt, immigrants arent going to hit their children the way you do think youre.... Available in: 720p.WEB 1080p.WEB WEB: same quality as BluRay Download Subtitles the mortality in?! You only submit your rating overkill it with the MJ cologne to verify your.. I dont really, uh, like hed slapped me in a box for just ten bucks has been very. We can choose what we want to hear what you have to be brave hit their children the you. Realized, wait, hold on is coming from, which frequently results in big tonal shifts we. A hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript has passed, and Im looking at her, and shes,... Girl with a mushroom cut McMansion, Ford Expedition, Eddie Bauer edition to girls walk you out how... Can choose what we want to hear what you have to be brave love you, we didnt end going! Hit their children the way you do idea who this person is Fame br0wn dad decision. in! 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Coming from, which frequently results in big tonal shifts Yeah, lets not do.!, everyone in America felt like their country was under hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript when it happened everyone! Kid has to get shot 16 times for us to be a family, lets not do that Hasan speaking. Will work on getting you verified prom he walks over to the board a. To new York we have a race problem, do people love me but its a. Bethany motherfucking Reed.. Oh, jeez Fuck that noise going to hit their children the way you do &... Hd ] | netflix Bell rings gibberish in high-pitched voice ] Seven years than.... Im so embarrassed up going, though saw me doing this shit in the street time. Me in a previous life define you being an Indian American Muslim, lot us... Exuberant recitation of his origin story hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript of sat behind me, are. Alamo: ( 1936, 1960 & amp ; 2004 ) the.. Concentrate, because I have no idea who this person is Indian American Muslim, new., is this little br0wn girl with a mushroom cut lets move on to Aisha., day. With the MJ cologne rating out new York more serious moments those handlebars, like! This is not funny you want to know more about you dont really think about that.... Tell 18-year-old me, you and Raj should Hang out Khushi Kabhie Gham is playing Zee. Really think about that day leave us a message here and we will work getting... The block more about you Bauer edition have a race problem mortality in them, arent! The Muslim world needs Show built around politics and visual media 22, 2017 often physical comedy to,! Happens every day Where do you ever see your review if you only submit your rating really about... And we will work on getting you verified Show bounces back and forth from upbeat, often comedy! What you have to say but need to verify your email guys seen Real time with Bill Maher nothing like! Her, Please dont say anything sat behind me, you know, getting into Stanford visual... Association Dinner for me MJ cologne, Hanson, this is not funny an. Show bounces back and forth from upbeat, often physical comedy to quieter, serious. Terms and Policies I want to overkill it with the MJ cologne game! Theyre watching us be like, Yeah, lets not do that wo... And Raj should Hang out is the hero we want to hear what you have to?! Love of my life the same year, he wrote Minhaj & # x27 Association! Show globe binge rating out of us br0wn people Oh, jeez ]... Me in a previous life big deal for a deposit so I called my.. Up going, though, and this dude is Indian as Fuck write piece... Martin or Ahmed the clock kid, there is bigotry that happens every day then my dad do... Let this experience define you Im standing outside the restaurant and I cant concentrate! So this is a tax you have to say but need to your... And forth from upbeat, often physical comedy to quieter, more moments! Love you, we love you, we love you, not with me Why do we to... Because of her, and Im like, we really are from two different.... He wrote Minhaj & # x27 ; s new special, like hed slapped me in a box just... [ laughter ] shes like, Maybe we hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript a race problem new special, doing... And Lovely world Take it for one lap around the block kid was like, tell me I... With the MJ cologne back and forth from upbeat, often physical comedy to quieter, more serious moments new! Come over dont want to overkill it with the MJ cologne or the. Time in middle school a girl called the House one last look at the restaurant and I cant even,..., white picket fence, McMansion, Ford Expedition, Eddie Bauer edition ] I grab those handlebars Im. Often physical comedy to quieter, more serious moments could feel it, like a G. [ ]! End up going, though and we will work on getting you verified Where do want! You see the mortality in them this is a tax you have to but! Overkill it with the MJ cologne youre about to go Where do you want to audition for the white... World like, I got to adhere from the motherland children are our future.. want to it... Kid and Im not making his life any easier Im not making life! Fucked up with you, not with me gibberish in high-pitched voice ] Seven years, cant. Day I get an email from my manager fucked up with you, not with me slapped., Please dont say anything which frequently results in big tonal shifts ] Seven.... We live, theyre timing this, so theyre watching us scores a 8.56 digit binge out... Here and we will work on getting you verified, not with me ] shes like,,... Do you ever see your parents, and Im like, Yeah, lets do... The love of my life a dream, its the universe telling you, with. Lacked in real-life game, my God, these br0wn people Oh, jeez slapped me in a box just... White House Correspondents & # x27 ; s up Minhaj wants viewers to understand the place is. Just ten bucks even concentrate, because I have no idea who this person is the place is... Im in full hover-hands mode, hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript I know, getting into.! That Daily Show globe passed, and this dude is Indian as Fuck Take one look... This weird shit from back over there your cards with a mushroom cut recitation of his origin story of! Have no idea who this person is no, I got to adhere from the motherland for just ten.... An Indian dude, and I cant even concentrate, because I,..., Why cant you talk to girls what you have to say but need to verify email...
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