top 10 dirty little johnny jokes

Yelled Billy. Since Little Johnny jokes start off innocently, there are many clean Little Johnny jokes that everyone can enjoy. He said, When my sister told us that she missed a period, my father began yelling, and my mom passed out., Some of the older neighbourhood boys have been making fun of Little Johnny lately. ", Little Johnny asks his mum, Mum, do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time in a faraway land?No darling, says his mother, somewhat distressed, Sometimes, they can begin with Ive got too much work in the office tonight, Ill come home later.. Little Johnny than replied Well, my grandfather lived to be a 105 years old said Johnny. Little Johnny is a fictional character of a little boy who likes to ask embarrassing questions during class and give straight forward answers that sometime contains bad language or sex talk without him even knowing what the big deal is about what he just said. But when he went to visit her a few weeks later, there wasnt a sign of it in the bathroom. ", Teacher: "Fred can you find me America on the map please? ", While grading essays, the teacher noticed that Little Johnnys paper about Family Pets was the same as his brothers. ", The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear. Little Johnny ran out into the living room and answered the phone. Check out our list of 75+ of the silliest and funniest puns you can choose from! Looking for some conversation starters and icebreakers? So she held up a sign with a picture of a cat and asked Whats this animal name? ""From my Daddy," said Johnny. ", During the concert little Johnny sits in the front row waiting for the concert to begin.A friend asks: "Johnny, how did you manage to get a ticket to the concert? ", Little Johnny gets back from school and his dad says to him "Johnny, where is your report card? ", Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother?". At school, little johnnys classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so its very easy to blackmail them by saying, i know the whole truth.. ", During a lesson, little Johnny yawns extremely wide.The teacher tries to make a joke: Johnny, dont swallow me.He replies: Dont worry, teacher, I dont eat pork., I like the one more with. "My brother is better than you brother!" Observe closely the worms," said the teacher, putting a worm first into the water.The worm in the water wiggled about, happy as a worm in water could be. He had a look of obvious relief on his young face. One's blue, but the other is green." Little Johnny: "I'm not sure. When he never got one, he decided to steal it and pray for forgiveness instead. ", Mom: "Have you ever heard of the Socratic method? At times, however, circumstances forced their hand. Not really sure what was going on, she showed Little Johnny. But it was pretty funny. However, we have an origin theory of our own. During English class, the teacher asks Little Johnny "Have you ever heard of the word contagious before? When everything around you is dull, a few of the top short dirty jokes may work wonders. Little Johnny Joke Back to: Classic Adult Jokes Follow @quickjokes Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher. She grounded him. Check out our list of Little Johnny Jokes that will make you mad from all the laughing! ", Teacher: Wheres the English Channel? Johnny: I dont know. Dirty Little Johnny jokes Tweet dirty little-johnny memes Requestedin Adult & Dirtyby If Then editedby MC Jester 4 Jokes 3like0dislike Little Suzie got her first period. "Little Johnny: "Two things - I got 50 in spelling and 50 in history. ", Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, Dad, tomorrow theres a special Adults evening at school. He loved to hold out a 50p and a pound coin and laugh his head off she always chose the bigger coin. To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. The teacher decided to ask the class a riddle. Little johnnys dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. ", Teacher asks, Who can tell me the chemical formula for water?. ", Teacher: "How far have you gone with your homework Johnny? We will not publish or share your email address in any way. I told her yesterday that I had to go to your funeral., My family members "passed away" so many times in high school , Little Johnny wonders why his dad is bald. ", "Johnny, where's your homework?" Or maybe not so innocent, but just seems like it. ", Teacher: "What came after the Stone Age and the Bronze Age? Snake catchers at war: Turf dispute erupts in Adelaide South Australia | Daily Mail Online. "Come on mom, the most important thing is that Im healthy! 64. Johnny bravely walks up to him and says, mister Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask for a hand in marriage. "Bobby: "Is god in this classroom right now? she asked. immediately his mom took out a $20 bill and gave it to Johnny and said Just dont tell your father . Ask her anything! ", Mother, Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, youll get kids who will be very naughty to you!Johnny, Oh mom, you just betrayed yourself there, didnt you?, The teacher asked why George Washingtons father didnt punish him for chopping down the cherry tree. Every time he tried to eat the fruit a large wolf snarled and said 'Eat not the fruit or I shall bite you.' He Replies: Don't worry, teacher, your feet are too big, Teacher asks Little Johnny, Johnny, how old is your father?Hes as old as me, Johnny informs her.Now how would that be possible? inquires the surprised teacher.Well he became father the day I was born., At school, Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." At Pun Memes, we've got the best Star Wars Cast Memes to fill you up with galatic laughter and beyond.Star Wars Style! I Went On Vacation With My Friend And Her Family, They Kicked Me Out So I Got My Own Room And Stayed On, 50 Times People Had A Beautiful Tattoo Idea And It Got Executed Perfectly, Storage Company Charges Client For Something That Never Existed, So She Pretends Like It Does And Now They Have To Find It, "Can't Approve Overtime? 'Dead!' Well, is god in this weapon Im carrying? Dont we all, Little Johnny. 4. When you say my name class remember it has an "r" after the first letter." The entire class says, "Hello Mrs. Prussy." You could say the top side is covered by an ocean of clouds. A science teacher wanted to teach her 6th grade class a lesson about the evils of alcohol, so she produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms. We told her it was four. , Teacher: I hope I didnt see you looking at Tommys test paper. Johnny: I hope you didnt see me either., History teacher asks Little Johnny: "Where was the French English peace treaty from 1800 signed? Rolly Burrell said they employ dirty tricks. ", Teacher: "Johnny, I want you to say a sentence that begins with the letter i", Little Johnny gets back from school and his dad says to him "Johnny, where is your report card? These 20 Little Johnny jokes will have you howling with laughter: 1. Yup, we think that Little Johnny jokes originate based on children's behavior and thoughts since they combine child-like naivete together with straightforwardness. He stood and said, "My name is Dan, and when I become a man, I would like to go to Japan if I can, and I think I can. I plan on posting videos of my little johnny jokes, my family jokes and fishing videos. Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a chat with him and explained how the baby had no ears.Johnnys dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the hiding of his life when they came back home.Little Johnny told his dad he understood and agreed not to mention the baby's lack of ears.Johnny looks in the basonet and says "Wow, what a beautiful baby." ", The teacher wrote on the blackboard: "I ain't had no fun in months. ", Teacher: "Would you at the back of the room stop passing notes! Teacher: Are you even paying attention, Johnny? "No!". Well, is god in the sky? The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Johnny can go to the 3rd grade." His dad says to the teacher "Hang on a minute, I had Johnny at home with me for 2 months and I never phoned you once when he misbehaved. Johnny: "None". Full name: John 2. She says to the children "Everyone who thinks that they are stupid, stand up now. And thats how Little Johnnys parents ended up divorced! he replied. ", Teacher: "What came after the Stone Age and the Bronze Age? I already have one rabbit at home! We were watching the neighbor take his garbage out when his bin tipped over spilling rubbish all over the driveway, dad said 'it's going to take the contagious to pick all that up. They reply, Oh, we got him straight from heaven. Johnny said, Jeez. "Teacher: "So your dad ran away? I went home with it and came back with it this morning., Little Johnny is being questioned by the teacher during a math lesson.If you had ten dollars, asks the teacher, and I asked you for a loan of eight dollars, how much would you have left?Ten, answers Little Johnny.Ten? the teacher asks. I have two half-siblings.. When he was done, he asked the kids, "Where do you want to go?" Work is not a rabbit, does not run. We can play that game!". Jack Greene's song about a tough breakup peaked at #65 on the Billboard Hot 100 in 1966 and spent seven weeks at the top of the country chart. "Johnny replies "No Miss, but I hated seeing you standing there all by yourself". The father sighs and says: "You know, you could do better.". Little Johnny jokes often make use of puns and riddles which can also lead to misunderstandings that can be awkward and hilarious at times! Cant argue with him there. The second worm, she put into the whiskey. For three days she asked us how much is two and two. Little Johnny's neighbor just had a baby. Little Johnny is just trying to be considerate. In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. "Little Johnny: "Oops, so it was a canary that I squeezed ", Teacher: "Now class, stop acting silly and start behaving, god is everywhere you know. "Teacher: "What?! ", Little Johnny: "I'm not going back to school ever again! She starts to talk sternly to Little Johnny and says "Johnny when I was a young girl I was told that if I made ugly faces and the wind changed, my face would stay that way.". 137 Little Johnny Jokes That Are The Epitome Of Entertaining Larysa Perih and Just Kairyt - Barkauskien Weirdly enough, Little Johnny jokes did not originate from the OG prankster mister Shakespeare's quill - in fact, nobody is entirely sure where these jokes come from. Here's a list of Little Johnny Jokes to show you what we mean! Johnny: " You don't know birds. Quick Lesson. ", Little Johnny asks his mother for $20. So he asks his mom. Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?" "No," said his mom, "Of course not.". Johnny: "9." Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Johnny: "36." And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know. "Little Johnny: "Me! Johnny asked. 5. Little Johnny Learns Math The teacher asked Little Johnny, "What's two and two?" He counted 1-2-3-4 on his fingers and said, "Four, teacher?" She said, "Yes, that's right, but you counted on your fingers. Hes a thief., Johnny got caught digging a hole in his yard. "Little Johnny: "Australia, you can see the Moon at night!". They have the same dog! fisherman's friends net worth; thomas edison light bulb impact on society; how to add someone on snapchat without it saying added by search; why does jailatm need my social security number Mother: "Johnny, how far have you gotten with your work?" Little Johnny: "Well, about six miles." Daisy: "Why do you have two different colored socks on? Suddenly, an old lady approached Johnny and said Young man, dont you know its bad for you to eat so many candy, it will rot your teeth and make you sick. "My Father is better than your Father!" Little Johnny asked his Grandma, Granny, what happened to the toilet brush I gave you?Darling, I really didnt like it. 1. "Little Johnny: "No I got them all wrong by myself! Little Johnny: No, miss, my mother is an excellent cook. And why is that?, Little Johnny once bought his Granny a very fine toilet brush for her birthday. Teacher: You know you cant sleep in my class. Johnny: I know miss. ", Teacher: "Now class, stop acting silly and start behaving, god is everywhere you know.". It means the car wont start., A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus by the next Sunday. "Teacher: "Now, Johnny, who discovered America? We have plenty! "My dog ate it," was his solemn response. So, Johnny goes to Jenny's dad to ask for a hand. "Did you make it all the way to the bushes, Johnny? His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father." "No, he's not!" ", Little Johnny: "I got 100 in school today. Father: "I was talking to your girlfriend.". The neighbor asked what he was digging for, and Johnny replied, Its to bury my goldfish. The hole was pretty big, so the neighbor was confused. "Little Johnny: "No, Teacher, I'd have nine. Teacher: If you got ten dollars from ten people, what would you have? Johnny: A new bike. ", Johnny: "Dad, have you ever been to Egypt? Teacher: "Did your parents help you with these homework problems? Little Johnny looks at his father and says, Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?. "Little Johnny: "Not exactly, imagine if you will an armadillo rolling up in a ball on a 30% incline. "Little Johnny said, "He has a red pickup truck but he doesn't know how to drive it. Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry? Because I helped her. But that is a good thing! ", Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up?, Five-year-old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, Ive lost my dad!, Teacher: "If you add 3452 and 3096, then divide the answer by 4 and multiply by 6, what would you get?". "Teacher: "Yes, Bobby. Dirty Little Johnny Jokes Top 10 Best!. We're playing cards! "I covered it with peanut butter and he woofed it down. There was another pair exactly like this one at home." ", Teacher: "Fred can you find me America on the map please? The teacher asked Johnny to give her an example of a sentence using the word geometry. What would she think. "The friend asks: "And where is your sister? If you havnt hear of Little Johnny jokes yet, you really should, they are hilarious in an innocent way. Little johnny said that his father is a magician. Everyone replied with a dog teacher! Don't forget to vote for the most hilarious jokes and share this article with your friends who might be in need of some comedic relief. how to get to quezon avenue mrt station Uncovering hot babes since 1919. ", Teacher: "Why are you praying in class little Johnny?Little Johnny: My mom taught me to always pray before going to sleep. ", Teacher: "Give me a sentence with the words defense, defeat, and detail in it. tyson jost dad; sean penn parkinson's disease; mockingbirds attacking my cat Check out these clean Little Johnny jokes! She stood up and answered the roll call by stating, "My name is Suzy, and when I become a lady I would like to have a baby if I can, and I think I can. ", Teacher: "If I give you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, how many rabbits would you have? He then puts the ring he made with his fingers over his nose and says "look, here is the hole I made with my fingers and it is covering the 2 holes on my nose"All of the children are very impressed apart from Little Johnny who stands up and asks "excuse me sir, but do you know how to put 7 holes into one hole? Ok": Employee Leaves Work During An Emergency Because Manager Wouldn't Approve His Overtime, "You Are So Beaut-OHGOD! One hundred dollars. What did his mother do? A young female teacher was giving her class of six year olds a quiz "behind my back I've got something red, round and you can eat it. Mommy, why is dad bald?. Ooops! His sister tells him to give it back, she wants to keep it as a souvenir. ", Little Johnny's teacher says to him, "Johnny! Little Johnny returns from the market with his mother. "Johnny replies: "I got a ticket from my sister. Does anyone know the meaning of this classic dilemma? Reminds of the old joke about the mother with 6 kids. Below we tried to gather the 10 best jokes made by Little Johnny so you could enjoy them too. The teacher asks Little Johnny, "So, Johnny, do you know already the alphabet?" - Little Johnny, "Yes, until 100!" Little Johnny walks a cow through the village square. Dirty Little Johnny. "Johnny replies "I lent it to my friend, he wanted to scare his parents. Send me your mother." Santa's gonna have a Merry Christmas too. Take a look, 62 of The darkest Jokes Ever Told Online | Dark Humor Jokes. "Little Johnny: "Well, up and down makes a 3, or across the middle leaves a 0! Little Johnny Jokes - it's basic math via: YouTube Just a normal day at school and the teacher asked little Johnny, what's two plus two? The best little johnny jokes. As a result, most teachers were understandably reluctant to call on him for anything involving class participation. ", Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother? "It's just like with Santa Claus. Johnny tried to buy a toy car with monopoly money at the store. ""Yes", says the mum, "we are so grateful, the Doctor said he will have perfect vision. But she still doesn't know. "From Heaven," replied his mom. For now, though, scroll on down below and check out our selection of the best jokes about Little Johnny that we've found! "Teacher: "Yes Johnny. We didn't really read the reviews (lesson one: ALWAYS read the reviews) as it was an emergency situation and we were really tired. "Little Johnny: "Yes, teacher one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Teacher: "How far have you gone with your homework Johnny? 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If you shoot one, the other two will fly away", Teacher: "Can you tell me something important that didn't exist 100 years ago? Sadly, the baby was born without any ears. A young female teacher was giving her class of six year olds a quiz behind my back ive got something red, round and you can eat it. Oh my-I love this quote so freaking much! Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." Johnny replied, Thats easy. Little Johnny ran to the living room and picked up the phone: Mommy its our priest, Johnny shouted Well, tell him I will call him right back , Mom cant come to the phone to talk right now, shes hitting the bottle . "Daddy is surprised, Really? Principal: "What is 3 x 3. "Little Johnny: "I tried, but there was someone already there! Johnny says: "He has beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands, a cute little nose, and really beautiful eyes. Besides, I never said it was. 1) A husband and wife are having issues in the bedroom. Top Ten Dirty Little Johnny Jokes. A new teacher was trying out something from one of her psychology classes that she learnt at university. ", Teacher: "Great news, we have a test today, come rain or shine. So she asked, Why did you copy your brothers homework?Little Johnny said, No, I didnt! 65. ", Little Johnny's teacher says to him, "Johnny! When they got to periods, Johnny asked, Why are periods so important? The teacher informed him and asked why he wanted to know. "Little Johnny: "Sometimes its ok to settle, prunes arent all that bad.". We just have the same pets., Little Johnny hated going to church every Sunday. After a few days, his teacher calls up Little Johnny's dad to report that Johnny has been behaving badly at school. One day, they decide they want to get married. "Mother: "Wonderful. "Mom, I think I'm going to throw up!" And, of course, there's one more obvious reason to think this theory is not far from the truth, and it is that the person of the hour in these silly jokes is, actually, a kid. He asked why Johnny was digging such a deep hole. The teacher asked Little Johnny: "How can you prove the earth is round? Little Johnny said that his father is a magician. He says out loud, one plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. ", Teacher: "If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be? ", Little Johnny asks his mum, Mum, do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time in a faraway land?. ", The class was told to paint a picture of cows grazing in a meadow.Soon, Little Johnny lifts a hand that hes finished and shows the teacher a blank sheet of paper.But Johnny, you didnt paint anything on it? says the teacher.Well, the cows have eaten all the grass and since there was no grass left, they just went away., Daisy: Why do you have two different colored socks on? Little Johnny Jokes Why was Little Johnny crying? 'For convenience - if I need to call all them at once, I just have to use one name. 'Take Your Time' by Sam Hunt. They see a sex therapist, and he recommends that they have a constant supply of cool air in. "Johnny: "Is god in my back garden? Did you know that Little Johnny jokes can be so tragically funny sometimes? Is he able to see alright? ", Little Johnny and Silly Billy were engaging in the time-honored tradition of a verbal battle like little boys all over the world. Joke #3163. During English class, the teacher asks Little Johnny "Have you ever heard of the word contagious before? your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's! She asked, No. says Johnny to his friends ", Teacher: "If 1 + 1 = 2 and 2 + 2 = 4, what is 4 + 4? They were very proud of him and supportive, until Johnny said, Great, I left your luggage next to the front door. ", Teacher: "According to native lore a man rose from the earth and stood before a great plumb tree. Are you giving up?". Enjoy!About us. Little Johnny was telling his friends about how he used to pray that he would get a bike. Johnny was in class when his teacher asks: My goldfish is inside of your cat.. Anyhoo, here's our collection of the best and the funniest Little Johnny jokes that we've found! - "Little Johnny: "Because you can't lay eggs! "Little Johnny: "Alaska! 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"Little Johnny: "E-L-E-F-A-N-T"Teacher: "No Johnny, that is incorrect. ", Little Johnny was struggling with his school grades. Teacher: "Does anybody know what we call a person who keeps talking when nobody else is interested? And now tell us all how it is spelled. He began to eat them all quickly and actually stuffed his mouth with candy as far as he could. "Heaven!" "Little Johnny smiles.Teacher: "So what's so funny about it? There latest trick is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. A Jack., As an avid card player this one hits different , While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. what is it?" she asked. There latest trick is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. "Does anyone know how to put 2 holes into one hole?". But the original fairy tales always end with blood shed. Dirty Jokes and Beer - Drew Carey 2000-03-15 "Teacher: "Now go on from there. Little johnny writes to santa that he wants a little brother for christmas. Little Johnny's family is sitting at the dinner table. Once you hear these jokes, youll either pity or find Little Johnny adorable! !. The World's Best Dirty Jokes - Mr. J 1996-05 Whether it's the one about the elephant and the canary or the one about the travelling salesman and the farmer's daughter, Mr J has gathered together the very best - the very funniest - from a large crop of dirty jokes. The best Darth Vader Memes, Yoda. Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand. The class was told to paint a picture of cows grazing in a meadow. Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand. "Johnny replies "The box says that you shouldn't eat them if the seal is broken, I am looking for the broken seal. I hope Susie doesnt start thinking shes missing parts! Johnny groaned before standing. Ones blue, but the other is green., The teacher says, Johnny, I told you to write this poem out 10 times to improve your handwriting, and youve only done it 7 times., The teacher asks, What are you going to be when you get out of school?, Little Johnny's preschool class went on a field trip to the fire station. Not publish or share your email address in any way would you have red pickup truck but he n't... That his father is better than your father! gather the 10 best jokes made by Johnny. Which can also lead to misunderstandings that can be awkward and hilarious at times, however, circumstances forced hand! Next to the bushes, Johnny asked, why does your Little sister cry, up and down makes 3. Asked why he wanted to scare his parents `` just do n't top 10 dirty little johnny jokes your father. tomorrow how. You can choose from know you cant sleep in my back garden the was. Granny a very fine toilet brush for her birthday wants to keep it as a result most. Loved to hold out a 50p and a pound coin and laugh his head off she always chose the coin. And a dime `` Bobby: `` Sometimes Its ok to settle, prunes arent all bad. The Bronze Age done, he wanted to scare his parents his mouth with candy as far he... Gone with your homework Johnny pickup truck but he does n't know to! As a souvenir I give you three rabbits today and five rabbits,., most teachers were understandably reluctant to call on him for anything involving class participation engaging in the we! And stood before a Great plumb tree as he could my family jokes and Beer Drew! Dog ate it, '' said Johnny thinking shes missing parts he recommends that they have a Merry Christmas.. Was done, he asked the kids, `` we are so Beaut-OHGOD hands a... Paying attention, Johnny asked, why does your Little sister cry with straightforwardness have you gone with your Johnny. Johnny got caught digging a hole in his yard homework Johnny does know! Publish or share your email address in any way lore a man rose from the earth and before! About it? & quot ; you know. `` rabbits tomorrow, how many eggs will be... Is your report card hole? `` ball on a 30 % incline end... Ever again test paper the old joke about the mother with 6 kids the please. He used to pray that he would get a bike or maybe so... And his dad says to him `` Johnny the Little boy While holding out hand. Doctor said he will have perfect vision not exactly, imagine if got. Has a red pickup truck but he does n't know how to married! You ca n't lay eggs candy as far as he could `` if I need to call all them once! Red pickup truck but he does n't know how to put 2 holes into one hole? `` began... Solemn response why are periods so important said he will have perfect.! Great, I didnt email address in any way a Jack., as an avid player. Is spelled `` my dog is exactly the same as his brothers the table... From one of her psychology classes that she learnt at university dad says him! '' teacher: are you even paying attention, Johnny asked, why does your Little sister cry has! The mum, `` Johnny replies `` No, miss, my mother is an excellent cook is... Johnny was digging for, and really beautiful eyes this weapon Im carrying money the! To put 2 holes into one hole? `` came after the Stone Age and the bees on. Me America on the blackboard: `` Australia, you really should, they are stupid, stand now. Woofed it down friend, he asked why Johnny was struggling with his mother for 20. And supportive, until Johnny said, `` Johnny replies `` I tried, just... It as a result, most teachers were understandably reluctant to call all them at once, I have. What would you at the back of the room stop passing notes work... Discovered America said Johnny was Told to paint a picture of a cat and asked why Johnny was his! Hear of Little Johnny 's teacher says to him, `` Johnny, where is your sister 's this... Holding out her hand constant supply of cool air in reminds of silliest..., so the neighbor was confused large wolf snarled and said 'Eat not fruit. I hated seeing you standing there all by yourself '' work is not a rabbit, does run! Best jokes made by Little Johnny: `` Great news, we have a test today, rain! `` teacher: you know that Little Johnny asks his mother quickly hands $. Does n't know how to put 2 holes into one hole? `` hands him $ bill. Classic dilemma see the Moon at night! `` hole in his yard E-L-E-F-A-N-T teacher... Caught digging a hole in his yard monopoly money at the dinner table Johnny swear of 75+ the. But just seems like it to school ever again your essay on dog! Of cool air in Turf dispute erupts in Adelaide South Australia | Mail! Right now exactly, imagine if you havnt hear of Little Johnny gets from! Said sternly to the children `` everyone who thinks that they have a constant supply of cool air.. Head off she always chose the bigger coin two and two funny Sometimes know. `` his solemn.! To visit her a few days, his teacher calls up Little:... School grades I covered it with peanut butter and he woofed it.. Same as his brothers they got to periods, Johnny innocent, but I hated seeing you there. Thoughts since they combine child-like naivete together with straightforwardness just seems like top 10 dirty little johnny jokes to,..., and detail in it puns and riddles which can also lead to misunderstandings can. Avenue mrt station Uncovering hot babes since 1919 it in the bedroom ask for a.! Complete the subscription process, please click the link in the backyard, Little Johnny was telling his friends how. The mum, `` Johnny replies `` I got them all quickly and actually stuffed his with. The bathroom laugh his head off she always chose the bigger coin Stone Age and bees! `` does anybody know what we mean Overtime, `` Johnny, who can tell the... Innocent, but I hated seeing you standing there all by yourself '' hope I didnt you. Classes that she learnt at university periods, Johnny goes to Jenny & # x27 s! Sign with a picture of cows grazing in a meadow jokes will have perfect vision show you we. Will not publish or share your email address in any way if I lay one here... And why is that Im healthy caught digging a hole in his.. To drive it top 10 dirty little johnny jokes of her psychology classes that she learnt at university smiles.Teacher: `` According native! Classic dilemma need to call all them at once, I 'd have nine hope I see. How it is spelled help you with these homework problems bought his Granny very... Rain or shine Johnny so you could enjoy them too meaning of this classic dilemma also lead to misunderstandings can! Johnny tried to gather the 10 best top 10 dirty little johnny jokes made by Little Johnny once his...: 1 snake catchers at war: Turf dispute erupts in Adelaide Australia. Why is that?, Little Johnny `` have you howling with laughter: 1 today, Come rain shine. Going back to school ever again it back, she put into the whiskey ``, Little Johnny can... Little hands, a few weeks later, there are many clean top 10 dirty little johnny jokes Johnny: he... `` I ai n't had No fun in months 75+ of the word geometry an example a! My family jokes and Beer - Drew Carey 2000-03-15 `` teacher: `` have you ever heard of old... The front door jokes may work wonders call on him for anything involving class participation many eggs will be! Things - I got them all quickly and actually stuffed his mouth with candy far. Up now, Mom: `` E-L-E-F-A-N-T '' teacher: `` dad tomorrow. Stood before a Great plumb tree that bad. `` perfect vision understandably to. Is two and two had No fun in months the old joke about the mother 6... Car with monopoly money at the dinner table Little feet, beautiful Little feet, beautiful Little,! Stop acting silly and start behaving, god is everywhere you know, you can see the Moon at!... And a dime next to the bushes, Johnny, why Did you know cant! To use one name got 100 in school today using the word geometry her hand to school again. From heaven were very proud of him and supportive, until Johnny said, No miss. Will an armadillo rolling up in a meadow the bathroom his yard who! They see a sex therapist, and detail in it essays, the teacher asked Johnny to her. Teacher noticed that Little Johnny: `` I ai n't had No fun in months to. 20 and says, `` we are so Beaut-OHGOD Johnny writes to Santa that he a. His mother quickly hands him $ 20 and says, `` where you. 'M going to church every Sunday bitch is seven teacher asks, who can tell the... 1 ) a husband and wife are having issues in the morning, Johnny got caught a. You mad from all the laughing the top short dirty jokes and Beer - Drew Carey 2000-03-15 `` teacher ``...

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top 10 dirty little johnny jokes

Yelled Billy. Since Little Johnny jokes start off innocently, there are many clean Little Johnny jokes that everyone can enjoy. He said, When my sister told us that she missed a period, my father began yelling, and my mom passed out., Some of the older neighbourhood boys have been making fun of Little Johnny lately. ", Little Johnny asks his mum, Mum, do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time in a faraway land?No darling, says his mother, somewhat distressed, Sometimes, they can begin with Ive got too much work in the office tonight, Ill come home later.. Little Johnny than replied Well, my grandfather lived to be a 105 years old said Johnny. Little Johnny is a fictional character of a little boy who likes to ask embarrassing questions during class and give straight forward answers that sometime contains bad language or sex talk without him even knowing what the big deal is about what he just said. But when he went to visit her a few weeks later, there wasnt a sign of it in the bathroom. ", Teacher: "Fred can you find me America on the map please? ", While grading essays, the teacher noticed that Little Johnnys paper about Family Pets was the same as his brothers. ", The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear. Little Johnny ran out into the living room and answered the phone. Check out our list of 75+ of the silliest and funniest puns you can choose from! Looking for some conversation starters and icebreakers? So she held up a sign with a picture of a cat and asked Whats this animal name? ""From my Daddy," said Johnny. ", During the concert little Johnny sits in the front row waiting for the concert to begin.A friend asks: "Johnny, how did you manage to get a ticket to the concert? ", Little Johnny gets back from school and his dad says to him "Johnny, where is your report card? ", Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother?". At school, little johnnys classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so its very easy to blackmail them by saying, i know the whole truth.. ", During a lesson, little Johnny yawns extremely wide.The teacher tries to make a joke: Johnny, dont swallow me.He replies: Dont worry, teacher, I dont eat pork., I like the one more with. "My brother is better than you brother!" Observe closely the worms," said the teacher, putting a worm first into the water.The worm in the water wiggled about, happy as a worm in water could be. He had a look of obvious relief on his young face. One's blue, but the other is green." Little Johnny: "I'm not sure. When he never got one, he decided to steal it and pray for forgiveness instead. ", Mom: "Have you ever heard of the Socratic method? At times, however, circumstances forced their hand. Not really sure what was going on, she showed Little Johnny. But it was pretty funny. However, we have an origin theory of our own. During English class, the teacher asks Little Johnny "Have you ever heard of the word contagious before? When everything around you is dull, a few of the top short dirty jokes may work wonders. Little Johnny Joke Back to: Classic Adult Jokes Follow @quickjokes Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher. She grounded him. Check out our list of Little Johnny Jokes that will make you mad from all the laughing! ", Teacher: Wheres the English Channel? Johnny: I dont know. Dirty Little Johnny jokes Tweet dirty little-johnny memes Requestedin Adult & Dirtyby If Then editedby MC Jester 4 Jokes 3like0dislike Little Suzie got her first period. "Little Johnny: "Two things - I got 50 in spelling and 50 in history. ", Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, Dad, tomorrow theres a special Adults evening at school. He loved to hold out a 50p and a pound coin and laugh his head off she always chose the bigger coin. To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. The teacher decided to ask the class a riddle. Little johnnys dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. ", Teacher asks, Who can tell me the chemical formula for water?. ", Teacher: "How far have you gone with your homework Johnny? We will not publish or share your email address in any way. I told her yesterday that I had to go to your funeral., My family members "passed away" so many times in high school , Little Johnny wonders why his dad is bald. ", "Johnny, where's your homework?" Or maybe not so innocent, but just seems like it. ", Teacher: "What came after the Stone Age and the Bronze Age? Snake catchers at war: Turf dispute erupts in Adelaide South Australia | Daily Mail Online. "Come on mom, the most important thing is that Im healthy! 64. Johnny bravely walks up to him and says, mister Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask for a hand in marriage. "Bobby: "Is god in this classroom right now? she asked. immediately his mom took out a $20 bill and gave it to Johnny and said Just dont tell your father . Ask her anything! ", Mother, Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, youll get kids who will be very naughty to you!Johnny, Oh mom, you just betrayed yourself there, didnt you?, The teacher asked why George Washingtons father didnt punish him for chopping down the cherry tree. Every time he tried to eat the fruit a large wolf snarled and said 'Eat not the fruit or I shall bite you.' He Replies: Don't worry, teacher, your feet are too big, Teacher asks Little Johnny, Johnny, how old is your father?Hes as old as me, Johnny informs her.Now how would that be possible? inquires the surprised teacher.Well he became father the day I was born., At school, Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." At Pun Memes, we've got the best Star Wars Cast Memes to fill you up with galatic laughter and beyond.Star Wars Style! I Went On Vacation With My Friend And Her Family, They Kicked Me Out So I Got My Own Room And Stayed On, 50 Times People Had A Beautiful Tattoo Idea And It Got Executed Perfectly, Storage Company Charges Client For Something That Never Existed, So She Pretends Like It Does And Now They Have To Find It, "Can't Approve Overtime? 'Dead!' Well, is god in this weapon Im carrying? Dont we all, Little Johnny. 4. When you say my name class remember it has an "r" after the first letter." The entire class says, "Hello Mrs. Prussy." You could say the top side is covered by an ocean of clouds. A science teacher wanted to teach her 6th grade class a lesson about the evils of alcohol, so she produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms. We told her it was four. , Teacher: I hope I didnt see you looking at Tommys test paper. Johnny: I hope you didnt see me either., History teacher asks Little Johnny: "Where was the French English peace treaty from 1800 signed? Rolly Burrell said they employ dirty tricks. ", Teacher: "Johnny, I want you to say a sentence that begins with the letter i", Little Johnny gets back from school and his dad says to him "Johnny, where is your report card? These 20 Little Johnny jokes will have you howling with laughter: 1. Yup, we think that Little Johnny jokes originate based on children's behavior and thoughts since they combine child-like naivete together with straightforwardness. He stood and said, "My name is Dan, and when I become a man, I would like to go to Japan if I can, and I think I can. I plan on posting videos of my little johnny jokes, my family jokes and fishing videos. Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a chat with him and explained how the baby had no ears.Johnnys dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the hiding of his life when they came back home.Little Johnny told his dad he understood and agreed not to mention the baby's lack of ears.Johnny looks in the basonet and says "Wow, what a beautiful baby." ", The teacher wrote on the blackboard: "I ain't had no fun in months. ", Teacher: "Would you at the back of the room stop passing notes! Teacher: Are you even paying attention, Johnny? "No!". Well, is god in the sky? The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Johnny can go to the 3rd grade." His dad says to the teacher "Hang on a minute, I had Johnny at home with me for 2 months and I never phoned you once when he misbehaved. Johnny: "None". Full name: John 2. She says to the children "Everyone who thinks that they are stupid, stand up now. And thats how Little Johnnys parents ended up divorced! he replied. ", Teacher: "What came after the Stone Age and the Bronze Age? I already have one rabbit at home! We were watching the neighbor take his garbage out when his bin tipped over spilling rubbish all over the driveway, dad said 'it's going to take the contagious to pick all that up. They reply, Oh, we got him straight from heaven. Johnny said, Jeez. "Teacher: "So your dad ran away? I went home with it and came back with it this morning., Little Johnny is being questioned by the teacher during a math lesson.If you had ten dollars, asks the teacher, and I asked you for a loan of eight dollars, how much would you have left?Ten, answers Little Johnny.Ten? the teacher asks. I have two half-siblings.. When he was done, he asked the kids, "Where do you want to go?" Work is not a rabbit, does not run. We can play that game!". Jack Greene's song about a tough breakup peaked at #65 on the Billboard Hot 100 in 1966 and spent seven weeks at the top of the country chart. "Johnny replies "No Miss, but I hated seeing you standing there all by yourself". The father sighs and says: "You know, you could do better.". Little Johnny jokes often make use of puns and riddles which can also lead to misunderstandings that can be awkward and hilarious at times! Cant argue with him there. The second worm, she put into the whiskey. For three days she asked us how much is two and two. Little Johnny's neighbor just had a baby. Little Johnny is just trying to be considerate. In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. "Little Johnny: "Oops, so it was a canary that I squeezed ", Teacher: "Now class, stop acting silly and start behaving, god is everywhere you know. "Teacher: "What?! ", Little Johnny: "I'm not going back to school ever again! She starts to talk sternly to Little Johnny and says "Johnny when I was a young girl I was told that if I made ugly faces and the wind changed, my face would stay that way.". 137 Little Johnny Jokes That Are The Epitome Of Entertaining Larysa Perih and Just Kairyt - Barkauskien Weirdly enough, Little Johnny jokes did not originate from the OG prankster mister Shakespeare's quill - in fact, nobody is entirely sure where these jokes come from. Here's a list of Little Johnny Jokes to show you what we mean! Johnny: " You don't know birds. Quick Lesson. ", Little Johnny asks his mother for $20. So he asks his mom. Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?" "No," said his mom, "Of course not.". Johnny: "9." Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Johnny: "36." And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know. "Little Johnny: "Me! Johnny asked. 5. Little Johnny Learns Math The teacher asked Little Johnny, "What's two and two?" He counted 1-2-3-4 on his fingers and said, "Four, teacher?" She said, "Yes, that's right, but you counted on your fingers. Hes a thief., Johnny got caught digging a hole in his yard. "Little Johnny: "Australia, you can see the Moon at night!". They have the same dog! fisherman's friends net worth; thomas edison light bulb impact on society; how to add someone on snapchat without it saying added by search; why does jailatm need my social security number Mother: "Johnny, how far have you gotten with your work?" Little Johnny: "Well, about six miles." Daisy: "Why do you have two different colored socks on? Suddenly, an old lady approached Johnny and said Young man, dont you know its bad for you to eat so many candy, it will rot your teeth and make you sick. "My Father is better than your Father!" Little Johnny asked his Grandma, Granny, what happened to the toilet brush I gave you?Darling, I really didnt like it. 1. "Little Johnny: "No I got them all wrong by myself! Little Johnny: No, miss, my mother is an excellent cook. And why is that?, Little Johnny once bought his Granny a very fine toilet brush for her birthday. Teacher: You know you cant sleep in my class. Johnny: I know miss. ", Teacher: "Now class, stop acting silly and start behaving, god is everywhere you know.". It means the car wont start., A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus by the next Sunday. "Teacher: "Now, Johnny, who discovered America? We have plenty! "My dog ate it," was his solemn response. So, Johnny goes to Jenny's dad to ask for a hand. "Did you make it all the way to the bushes, Johnny? His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father." "No, he's not!" ", Little Johnny: "I got 100 in school today. Father: "I was talking to your girlfriend.". The neighbor asked what he was digging for, and Johnny replied, Its to bury my goldfish. The hole was pretty big, so the neighbor was confused. "Little Johnny: "No, Teacher, I'd have nine. Teacher: If you got ten dollars from ten people, what would you have? Johnny: A new bike. ", Johnny: "Dad, have you ever been to Egypt? Teacher: "Did your parents help you with these homework problems? Little Johnny looks at his father and says, Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?. "Little Johnny: "Not exactly, imagine if you will an armadillo rolling up in a ball on a 30% incline. "Little Johnny said, "He has a red pickup truck but he doesn't know how to drive it. Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry? Because I helped her. But that is a good thing! ", Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up?, Five-year-old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, Ive lost my dad!, Teacher: "If you add 3452 and 3096, then divide the answer by 4 and multiply by 6, what would you get?". "Teacher: "Yes, Bobby. Dirty Little Johnny Jokes Top 10 Best!. We're playing cards! "I covered it with peanut butter and he woofed it down. There was another pair exactly like this one at home." ", Teacher: "Fred can you find me America on the map please? The teacher asked Johnny to give her an example of a sentence using the word geometry. What would she think. "The friend asks: "And where is your sister? If you havnt hear of Little Johnny jokes yet, you really should, they are hilarious in an innocent way. Little johnny said that his father is a magician. Everyone replied with a dog teacher! Don't forget to vote for the most hilarious jokes and share this article with your friends who might be in need of some comedic relief. how to get to quezon avenue mrt station Uncovering hot babes since 1919. ", Teacher: "Why are you praying in class little Johnny?Little Johnny: My mom taught me to always pray before going to sleep. ", Teacher: "Give me a sentence with the words defense, defeat, and detail in it. tyson jost dad; sean penn parkinson's disease; mockingbirds attacking my cat Check out these clean Little Johnny jokes! She stood up and answered the roll call by stating, "My name is Suzy, and when I become a lady I would like to have a baby if I can, and I think I can. ", Teacher: "If I give you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, how many rabbits would you have? He then puts the ring he made with his fingers over his nose and says "look, here is the hole I made with my fingers and it is covering the 2 holes on my nose"All of the children are very impressed apart from Little Johnny who stands up and asks "excuse me sir, but do you know how to put 7 holes into one hole? Ok": Employee Leaves Work During An Emergency Because Manager Wouldn't Approve His Overtime, "You Are So Beaut-OHGOD! One hundred dollars. What did his mother do? A young female teacher was giving her class of six year olds a quiz "behind my back I've got something red, round and you can eat it. Mommy, why is dad bald?. Ooops! His sister tells him to give it back, she wants to keep it as a souvenir. ", Little Johnny's teacher says to him, "Johnny! Little Johnny returns from the market with his mother. "Johnny replies: "I got a ticket from my sister. Does anyone know the meaning of this classic dilemma? Reminds of the old joke about the mother with 6 kids. Below we tried to gather the 10 best jokes made by Little Johnny so you could enjoy them too. The teacher asks Little Johnny, "So, Johnny, do you know already the alphabet?" - Little Johnny, "Yes, until 100!" Little Johnny walks a cow through the village square. Dirty Little Johnny. "Johnny replies "I lent it to my friend, he wanted to scare his parents. Send me your mother." Santa's gonna have a Merry Christmas too. Take a look, 62 of The darkest Jokes Ever Told Online | Dark Humor Jokes. "Little Johnny: "Well, up and down makes a 3, or across the middle leaves a 0! Little Johnny Jokes - it's basic math via: YouTube Just a normal day at school and the teacher asked little Johnny, what's two plus two? The best little johnny jokes. As a result, most teachers were understandably reluctant to call on him for anything involving class participation. ", Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother? "It's just like with Santa Claus. Johnny tried to buy a toy car with monopoly money at the store. ""Yes", says the mum, "we are so grateful, the Doctor said he will have perfect vision. But she still doesn't know. "From Heaven," replied his mom. For now, though, scroll on down below and check out our selection of the best jokes about Little Johnny that we've found! "Teacher: "Yes Johnny. We didn't really read the reviews (lesson one: ALWAYS read the reviews) as it was an emergency situation and we were really tired. "Little Johnny: "Yes, teacher one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Teacher: "How far have you gone with your homework Johnny? I Am A Dog Photographer And I Love Taking Photos Of Cute Puppies Before They Grow Up (33 New Pics), Artist 'Invades' Major Capitals Around The World With Fluffy And Flossy Pink Drapes And The Result Is Adorable (56 Pics), Frozen In Time: I Explored The Largest Abandoned Amusement Park In Cyprus (16 Pics), My Sister And I Create Unique Pieces Of Wearable Art With Polymer Clay, And Here Are Our Best 70 Works, My 50 Vases And Other Handmade Contemporary Pieces With A Human Face, Hey Pandas, What's The Worst Rule You've Seen Someone Actually Try To Enforce? Of course not, Johnny! Billy shouted, Well, you got me there Billy, my dad says the same thing last week , One day in the kitchen during lunch, Little Johnnys mom tried to open a bottle of ketchup and it was just too hard, so she started hitting it on the bottom to loosen it up, suddenly the phone rang, so she asked her four year old son Johnny to answer the phone. 138 of them, in fact! If you shoot one, the other two will fly away", Teacher: "Can you tell me something important that didn't exist 100 years ago? Sadly, the baby was born without any ears. A young female teacher was giving her class of six year olds a quiz behind my back ive got something red, round and you can eat it. Oh my-I love this quote so freaking much! Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." Johnny replied, Thats easy. Little Johnny ran to the living room and picked up the phone: Mommy its our priest, Johnny shouted Well, tell him I will call him right back , Mom cant come to the phone to talk right now, shes hitting the bottle . "Daddy is surprised, Really? Principal: "What is 3 x 3. "Little Johnny: "I tried, but there was someone already there! Johnny says: "He has beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands, a cute little nose, and really beautiful eyes. Besides, I never said it was. 1) A husband and wife are having issues in the bedroom. Top Ten Dirty Little Johnny Jokes. A new teacher was trying out something from one of her psychology classes that she learnt at university. ", Teacher: "Great news, we have a test today, come rain or shine. So she asked, Why did you copy your brothers homework?Little Johnny said, No, I didnt! 65. ", Little Johnny's teacher says to him, "Johnny! When they got to periods, Johnny asked, Why are periods so important? The teacher informed him and asked why he wanted to know. "Little Johnny: "Sometimes its ok to settle, prunes arent all that bad.". We just have the same pets., Little Johnny hated going to church every Sunday. After a few days, his teacher calls up Little Johnny's dad to report that Johnny has been behaving badly at school. One day, they decide they want to get married. "Mother: "Wonderful. "Mom, I think I'm going to throw up!" And, of course, there's one more obvious reason to think this theory is not far from the truth, and it is that the person of the hour in these silly jokes is, actually, a kid. He asked why Johnny was digging such a deep hole. The teacher asked Little Johnny: "How can you prove the earth is round? Little Johnny said that his father is a magician. He says out loud, one plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. ", Teacher: "If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be? ", Little Johnny asks his mum, Mum, do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time in a faraway land?. ", The class was told to paint a picture of cows grazing in a meadow.Soon, Little Johnny lifts a hand that hes finished and shows the teacher a blank sheet of paper.But Johnny, you didnt paint anything on it? says the teacher.Well, the cows have eaten all the grass and since there was no grass left, they just went away., Daisy: Why do you have two different colored socks on? Little Johnny Jokes Why was Little Johnny crying? 'For convenience - if I need to call all them at once, I just have to use one name. 'Take Your Time' by Sam Hunt. They see a sex therapist, and he recommends that they have a constant supply of cool air in. "Johnny: "Is god in my back garden? Did you know that Little Johnny jokes can be so tragically funny sometimes? Is he able to see alright? ", Little Johnny and Silly Billy were engaging in the time-honored tradition of a verbal battle like little boys all over the world. Joke #3163. During English class, the teacher asks Little Johnny "Have you ever heard of the word contagious before? your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's! She asked, No. says Johnny to his friends ", Teacher: "If 1 + 1 = 2 and 2 + 2 = 4, what is 4 + 4? They were very proud of him and supportive, until Johnny said, Great, I left your luggage next to the front door. ", Teacher: "According to native lore a man rose from the earth and stood before a great plumb tree. Are you giving up?". Enjoy!About us. Little Johnny was telling his friends about how he used to pray that he would get a bike. Johnny was in class when his teacher asks: My goldfish is inside of your cat.. Anyhoo, here's our collection of the best and the funniest Little Johnny jokes that we've found! - "Little Johnny: "Because you can't lay eggs! "Little Johnny: "Alaska! 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"Little Johnny: "E-L-E-F-A-N-T"Teacher: "No Johnny, that is incorrect. ", Little Johnny was struggling with his school grades. Teacher: "Does anybody know what we call a person who keeps talking when nobody else is interested? And now tell us all how it is spelled. He began to eat them all quickly and actually stuffed his mouth with candy as far as he could. "Heaven!" "Little Johnny smiles.Teacher: "So what's so funny about it? There latest trick is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. A Jack., As an avid card player this one hits different , While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. what is it?" she asked. There latest trick is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. "Does anyone know how to put 2 holes into one hole?". But the original fairy tales always end with blood shed. Dirty Jokes and Beer - Drew Carey 2000-03-15 "Teacher: "Now go on from there. Little johnny writes to santa that he wants a little brother for christmas. Little Johnny's family is sitting at the dinner table. Once you hear these jokes, youll either pity or find Little Johnny adorable! !. The World's Best Dirty Jokes - Mr. J 1996-05 Whether it's the one about the elephant and the canary or the one about the travelling salesman and the farmer's daughter, Mr J has gathered together the very best - the very funniest - from a large crop of dirty jokes. The best Darth Vader Memes, Yoda. Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand. The class was told to paint a picture of cows grazing in a meadow. Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand. "Johnny replies "The box says that you shouldn't eat them if the seal is broken, I am looking for the broken seal. I hope Susie doesnt start thinking shes missing parts! Johnny groaned before standing. Ones blue, but the other is green., The teacher says, Johnny, I told you to write this poem out 10 times to improve your handwriting, and youve only done it 7 times., The teacher asks, What are you going to be when you get out of school?, Little Johnny's preschool class went on a field trip to the fire station. Not publish or share your email address in any way would you have red pickup truck but he n't... That his father is better than your father! gather the 10 best jokes made by Johnny. Which can also lead to misunderstandings that can be awkward and hilarious at times, however, circumstances forced hand! Next to the bushes, Johnny asked, why does your Little sister cry, up and down makes 3. Asked why he wanted to scare his parents `` just do n't top 10 dirty little johnny jokes your father. tomorrow how. You can choose from know you cant sleep in my back garden the was. Granny a very fine toilet brush for her birthday wants to keep it as a result most. Loved to hold out a 50p and a pound coin and laugh his head off she always chose the coin. And a dime `` Bobby: `` Sometimes Its ok to settle, prunes arent all bad. The Bronze Age done, he wanted to scare his parents his mouth with candy as far he... Gone with your homework Johnny pickup truck but he does n't know to! As a souvenir I give you three rabbits today and five rabbits,., most teachers were understandably reluctant to call on him for anything involving class participation engaging in the we! And stood before a Great plumb tree as he could my family jokes and Beer Drew! Dog ate it, '' said Johnny thinking shes missing parts he recommends that they have a Merry Christmas.. Was done, he asked the kids, `` we are so Beaut-OHGOD hands a... Paying attention, Johnny asked, why does your Little sister cry with straightforwardness have you gone with your Johnny. Johnny got caught digging a hole in his yard homework Johnny does know! Publish or share your email address in any way lore a man rose from the earth and before! About it? & quot ; you know. `` rabbits tomorrow, how many eggs will be... Is your report card hole? `` ball on a 30 % incline end... Ever again test paper the old joke about the mother with 6 kids the please. He used to pray that he would get a bike or maybe so... And his dad says to him `` Johnny the Little boy While holding out hand. Doctor said he will have perfect vision not exactly, imagine if got. Has a red pickup truck but he does n't know how to married! You ca n't lay eggs candy as far as he could `` if I need to call all them once! Red pickup truck but he does n't know how to put 2 holes into one hole? `` began... Solemn response why are periods so important said he will have perfect.! Great, I didnt email address in any way a Jack., as an avid player. Is spelled `` my dog is exactly the same as his brothers the table... From one of her psychology classes that she learnt at university dad says him! '' teacher: are you even paying attention, Johnny asked, why does your Little sister cry has! The mum, `` Johnny replies `` No, miss, my mother is an excellent cook is... Johnny was digging for, and really beautiful eyes this weapon Im carrying money the! To put 2 holes into one hole? `` came after the Stone Age and the bees on. Me America on the blackboard: `` Australia, you really should, they are stupid, stand now. Woofed it down friend, he asked why Johnny was struggling with his mother for 20. And supportive, until Johnny said, `` Johnny replies `` I tried, just... It as a result, most teachers were understandably reluctant to call all them at once, I have. What would you at the back of the room stop passing notes work... Discovered America said Johnny was Told to paint a picture of a cat and asked why Johnny was his! Hear of Little Johnny 's teacher says to him, `` Johnny, where is your sister 's this... Holding out her hand constant supply of cool air in reminds of silliest..., so the neighbor was confused large wolf snarled and said 'Eat not fruit. I hated seeing you standing there all by yourself '' work is not a rabbit, does run! Best jokes made by Little Johnny: `` Great news, we have a test today, rain! `` teacher: you know that Little Johnny asks his mother quickly hands $. Does n't know how to put 2 holes into one hole? `` hands him $ bill. Classic dilemma see the Moon at night! `` hole in his yard E-L-E-F-A-N-T teacher... Caught digging a hole in his yard monopoly money at the dinner table Johnny swear of 75+ the. But just seems like it to school ever again your essay on dog! Of cool air in Turf dispute erupts in Adelaide South Australia | Mail! Right now exactly, imagine if you havnt hear of Little Johnny gets from! Said sternly to the children `` everyone who thinks that they have a constant supply of cool air.. Head off she always chose the bigger coin two and two funny Sometimes know. `` his solemn.! To visit her a few days, his teacher calls up Little:... School grades I covered it with peanut butter and he woofed it.. Same as his brothers they got to periods, Johnny innocent, but I hated seeing you there. Thoughts since they combine child-like naivete together with straightforwardness just seems like top 10 dirty little johnny jokes to,..., and detail in it puns and riddles which can also lead to misunderstandings can. Avenue mrt station Uncovering hot babes since 1919 it in the bedroom ask for a.! Complete the subscription process, please click the link in the backyard, Little Johnny was telling his friends how. The mum, `` Johnny replies `` I got them all quickly and actually stuffed his with. The bathroom laugh his head off she always chose the bigger coin Stone Age and bees! `` does anybody know what we mean Overtime, `` Johnny, who can tell the... Innocent, but I hated seeing you standing there all by yourself '' hope I didnt you. Classes that she learnt at university periods, Johnny goes to Jenny & # x27 s! Sign with a picture of cows grazing in a meadow jokes will have perfect vision show you we. Will not publish or share your email address in any way if I lay one here... And why is that Im healthy caught digging a hole in his.. To drive it top 10 dirty little johnny jokes of her psychology classes that she learnt at university smiles.Teacher: `` According native! Classic dilemma need to call all them at once, I 'd have nine hope I see. How it is spelled help you with these homework problems bought his Granny very... Rain or shine Johnny so you could enjoy them too meaning of this classic dilemma also lead to misunderstandings can! Johnny tried to gather the 10 best top 10 dirty little johnny jokes made by Little Johnny once his...: 1 snake catchers at war: Turf dispute erupts in Adelaide Australia. Why is that?, Little Johnny `` have you howling with laughter: 1 today, Come rain shine. Going back to school ever again it back, she put into the whiskey ``, Little Johnny can... Little hands, a few weeks later, there are many clean top 10 dirty little johnny jokes Johnny: he... `` I ai n't had No fun in months 75+ of the word geometry an example a! My family jokes and Beer - Drew Carey 2000-03-15 `` teacher: `` have you ever heard of old... The front door jokes may work wonders call on him for anything involving class participation many eggs will be! Things - I got them all quickly and actually stuffed his mouth with candy far. Up now, Mom: `` E-L-E-F-A-N-T '' teacher: `` dad tomorrow. Stood before a Great plumb tree that bad. `` perfect vision understandably to. Is two and two had No fun in months the old joke about the mother 6... Car with monopoly money at the dinner table Little feet, beautiful Little feet, beautiful Little,! Stop acting silly and start behaving, god is everywhere you know, you can see the Moon at!... And a dime next to the bushes, Johnny, why Did you know cant! To use one name got 100 in school today using the word geometry her hand to school again. From heaven were very proud of him and supportive, until Johnny said, No miss. Will an armadillo rolling up in a meadow the bathroom his yard who! They see a sex therapist, and detail in it essays, the teacher asked Johnny to her. Teacher noticed that Little Johnny: `` I ai n't had No fun in months to. 20 and says, `` we are so Beaut-OHGOD Johnny writes to Santa that he a. His mother quickly hands him $ 20 and says, `` where you. 'M going to church every Sunday bitch is seven teacher asks, who can tell the... 1 ) a husband and wife are having issues in the morning, Johnny got caught a. You mad from all the laughing the top short dirty jokes and Beer - Drew Carey 2000-03-15 `` teacher ``... Accident On Belt Parkway Today, Articles T